It's time to write my story...

After a few things happening...and on the eve of my 18 month anniversary - its time to write my story, my journey...

Please stay tuned...it kindly wont be short :P

Frustration

I am so very FRUSTRATED

I'm not sure you heard that or not...but yes

I AM FRUSTRATED

VERY, VERY, VERY FRUSTRATED

Chronic pain is NO JOKE!!!

But our Public Health System here in Qld sure is!!

Dear Qld Government & Health - prepare for a battle!

Signed: The Chronic Pain sufferers of your so called "great state" 

Sleep

Its 3am...

My left leg is burning from toe through to the hip & lower back

My right lower leg is burning
My back is spasming
My right shoulder is aching
My right wrist is aching, starting to burn...
My back spasms are causing me to constantly move positions, trying to keep the pain to a minimal.
I've currently taken enough meds to keep a whole footy team painfree and sleeping...but it just doesn't work...
Tonight is not a good night...

My body gets to the point of exhaustion and it just sleeps...
And sleeps...
While waking to severe pain, it eventually just gives in and sleeps...sometimes for half a day, sometimes for just an hour.

But even with sleep, the pain still exhausts me.

Today I went out for my brothers birthday lunch, fairly low key and minimal activity, but a couple of hours in...
I felt my leg start to swell up, start to burn, a deep, low, extremely painful burn...and I felt my body just go whooooosh...
I managed to get home, to cool my burning legs down in cold water, before falling into bed, simply exhausted.

Dealing with pain is like running a marathon some days: it is so exhausting, that lying in bed is wears you out!
The pain does not let up: it takes over your body and you give in
And when you do sleep, your body is working overtime to heal itself, that you never properly sleep, so you wake up exhausted.

Chronic Pain is so hard to explain sometimes but the one word that comes to mind is, that it is so EXHAUSTING!!!
To have pain spreading without your body, that does not stop, its hard work.

While I suffer from CRPS, there are so many other Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses that this exhaustion overload affects so many people. Please dont be judgemental that we need to sleep, sometimes a lot or at different hours, because sometimes it is all just a little bit too much. It's just not the same as a "normal life"

Its now 3.30am

I'm still awake, the burning pain is still burning.
I am still chatting to a few friends, new found friends around the world whom battle CRPS like I do - its a good distraction....

Hopefully sleep will come soon, I've tried two lots of meditation and failed so far, so fingers crossed on the third attempt!

Until next time, Kate